Archive for September, 2005

Out of control

So, I have a girlfriend….now now, before you get all weirded out on me….I know.  I was the president of the Bachelor’s to the Rapture organization ever since Brian got married.  I told myself it would never happen to me.  I stayed single with no dates for almost 6 years and then, out of no where, I get hit by a truck.  She’s awesome.  She puts God first.  She’s gorgeous.  It’s so awesome.  Her name is Melissa.  We’re together.  I love it.  We went out Friday night, dinner, mini-golf, and a 3 hour car drive. (2nd date).  That pretty much sealed the deal on us dating.We went out Monday again.  Saw a movie.  Went on another car ride.  Her birthday is Friday, but I’m going to be working 3rd, so I won’t be able to take her out.  So I’m gonna get her a gift, a car, and some flowers and deliver them to her before I go to work.  That way, she can see me in uniform :)So yeah.. I’m so happy.

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A good thought

Waaaah. Boo hoo hoo. When is someone going to do something for me? I will sit here and die of dehydration if the government doesnt do something for me.

The only thing the people who are still in New Orleans are suffering from is the entitlement mentality that the government should be doing something for them. How bad do conditions have to get before it occurs to someone to do something for ones self?

When it comes to those remaining within the city limits of this deceased metropolis, the answer is obviously never. They have lived their entire lives waiting for the government to do something for them (and you can tell by their standard of living that the idea has worked so well up till now).

It has long been known that the levee system was inadequate. They were told to leave before the storm. They were told to leave after the devastation. Yet they chose to remain. When they were told to leave, they decided to stay and loot like a bunch of burglars in a closed shopping mall at Christmas. Now, just as was anticipated they are dying of dehydration because there is no water. Duh. Anyone ever hear of Darwin?

Now, tons of my tax dollars must be spent to rescue a bunch of these fools who have proven themselves to be nothing more than leaches on society, incapable of doing anything for themselves or thinking beyond the next five minutes. And how do they react when help does arrive? By shooting at the would be rescuers. Theres a good sound decision.

We have turned into a nation of sappy, sensitive wimps who are so scared of being called the R word (racist) that we have become blind to reality.

To all those remaining in New Orleans, quit acting like a bunch of maggots feeding upon the rotting corpse of the city and start WALKING.

Its well past the time when you should have decided to DO SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF.

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Military rules for non-military people

Dear Civilians,

We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation have many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military. For those of you who can’t join, you can still lend a hand.

Here are a few of the areas in which we would like your assistance:

1) The next time you see an adult talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of the National Anthem … kick their butt.

2) When you witness firsthand someone burning the American Flag in protest … kick their butt.

3) Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these Veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these Veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a Disabled Veteran kicks their butt.

4) (GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDU’s), telling others that you used to be “Special Forces,” and collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have been okay when you were still seven. Now, it will only make you look stupid and get your butt kicked.

5) Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them, “Do you fly a jet?” Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance deserves an butt kicking (children are exempt).

6) If you witness someone calling the U.S. Coast Guard non military, inform them of their mistake…and kick their butt.

7) Roseanne Barr’s singing of the National Anthem is not a blooper…it was a disgrace and disrespectful. Laugh, and sooner or later your butt will be kicked.

8) Next time Old Glory (U.S. flag) prances by during a parade, get on your dang feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your heart. Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying her…of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe butt kicking.

9) Don’t try to discuss politics with a military member or a veteran. We are Americans and we all bleed the same regardless of our party affiliation. Our Chain of Command, is to include our commander in Chief. The President (for those who didn’t know) is our CIC regardless of political party. We have no inside track on what happens inside those big important buildings where all those “representatives” meet. All we know is that when those civilian
representatives screw up the situation, they call upon the military to go straighten it out. The military member might direct you to Oliver North. (I can see him kicking your butt already.)

10) “Your mama wears combat boots” never made sense to me…stop saying it! If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore, could kick your butt!

11) Bin Laden and the Taliban are not communists, so stop saying “Let’s go kill those Commie’s!!!” And stop asking us where he is!!!! Crystal balls are not standard issue in the military. That reminds me, if you see anyone calling those psychic phone numbers; let me know, so I can go kick their butt.

12) Flyboy (Air Force), Jar Head (Marines), Grunt (Army), Squid (Navy) etc, are terms of endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a service member or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. That could get your butt kicked.

13) Last but not least, whether or not you become a member of the military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please remember that there are literally thousands of sailors and troops far from home wishing they could be with their families. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every day. Without them, our country would get its butt kicked.

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Top 10 people I hope were in New Orleans on Monday

10. Alec Baldwin
9. Barbara Streisand
8. Bruce Springsteen
7. Susan Sarandon
6. Tim Robbins
5. Jane Fonda
4. Al Franken
3. All 3 of the Dixie Chicks
2. Michael Moore
1. Cindy Sheehan

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